Small Does: Relationship Problems but No Relationship?

By Kelsei Brianna

Can someone explain to me why I have been experiencing HELLA relationship problems in 2023 but have yet to even be in a relationship this year? Let alone my first real relationship ever?

In the era of 'sitiuationships' and 'entanglements,' I feel as if I am the most knowledgeable person on this topic. It is actually no way I have had the ups and downs that come with budding relationships too many times to count this year alone. Honestly, thinking back to the beginning of the year on my vision board I actually made 'get into a (first) real relationship this year' a goal of mine. Maybe I put up with so much BS with guys in the beginning stages - obviously it never makes it past that - because I thought it was all a part of the the process. It should never be that difficult. Like, ever. Well, there is another lesson learned at the ripe age of 22; it is no way you should be going through turmoil and heartache in the talking stages!

I can say it is a lesson learned but we will not even know if I learned my lesson after the past situations if I continue to repeat the same actions to end up right back in an unlabeled yet loyal (on my part) friendship. That is all it is, a friendship with occasional romantic innuendos that go no where! On the other hand, I can not even begin to reprimand my actions because I am just moving according to how I feel. Which that is a problem within itself. You would think I would have better judgement and move according to how the other person feels. I have to admit though, I fall pretty hard and fast. It does not help either that I can imagine a future with anyone.

Moving forward, I hope to take these rose colored glasses OFF and focus on myself and my future. I know that love will come when I least expect it and not looking for it at all. I just have to be patient. If I have to imagine it though, I do hope to meet my future boyfriend in a coffee shop or library. I bump into him and drop all my books and he helps me pick them up. While simultaneously inquiring about one of the books I am currently reading and I tuck my hair behind my ear and the rest will be history. Hey, maybe dreams will come true.

Thank y'all for letting me vent LOL.