Small Doses: A Season of Loss

By Kelsei Brianna

What is Small Doses?

I am creating a new segment on my blog called Small Doses. In this series, I want to get deep, raw, and unfiltered. The creation of the blog series Small Doses was influenced by Amanda Seales who has a book and podcast entitled, Small Doses: Potent Truths for Everyday Use. Seales is a comedian and actor that I admire and have been following for some time now. Her podcast and social media presence have been an influential factor in my life. Seales is easily a notable celebrity that I idolize. This is the first installment of my blog series version of Small Doses. A season of loss.

*Trigger Warning: Discusses death. *

The year 2023 has been a trying year for me. Although this is not a year in review, I would like to discuss a trend I noticed that has been occurring in my life lately. I have been experiencing a lot of loss in different aspects of my life. Experiencing loss ensuing makes me feel like odds are stacked against me but also, I remind myself that (some) of this loss is not in vain and is being removed to make room for something greater in my life. Earlier in the year I lost my first car. This may not seem like an immense deal to some but to me I was agitated. I had only had my first car for almost the entirety of my undergrad program. This car was something that I saved and worked for so for it to be removed was difficult for me. I had to adjust for life without a car for a while, but I was gifted a car shortly after. If you read my September word dump you would know that I was in a car accident last month. At this point, I felt distressed. This car issues made me realize life is going to happen and I have to keep going.

I had had never genuinely experienced loss in regard to death until this year. When I was younger, unfortunately, there were a few deaths in my family but being young I did not understand completely how to grieve. Recently, I felt like I have been surrounded by death. This has placed me in the position to learn how to grieve. Death is usually random, and no one is prepared for death of loved ones. The recent death of people whom I knew and were related to placed me in the situation to learn how to cope. Although, I know there is still learning to do in this aspect.

This season especially taught me that my life does not stop. I am still going to have school, work, and other personal obligations. I realize that this is where prioritizing self-care and mental health begins to play a major role. A few ways I have been able to cope with this season of loss are allowing myself to cry and release emotion. I also found a way to express myself and communicate how I feel while I am feeling it.