Why I can Not Watch “Insecure” a Second Time

By Kelsei Brianna

Recently, I finished the Emmy nominated series, Insecure. This series was written and produced by the esteemed Issa Rae in 2016. As always, I am the last person to watch a raved about series. After being asked for years, "Have you seen Insecure?," the answer is finally, "Yes, I have!"

While Insecure is a remarkable series that addresses topics such as navigating career and relationships as an African-American. It gets DEEP. While watching the show, I was going through a season of dating trials and beginning to realize I am finding myself and my place in this world. This made Insecure hit close to home for me. It seems as if I related to just about every episode and character. There were times I had to pause this show for a couple days because one: it was getting too real for me and two: I was finding myself getting emotionally attached to the characters.

Of course, I have my sentiments about the progression of the series, character development, plot, and more. However, I will be taking an opinionated and analytic approach to discuss the development of a few of the main characters. Spoilers ahead, you have been warned.

*Disclaimer: This blog post contains opinion.*

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Issa Dee portrayed by Issa Rae

Before I even began to talk about her. I am 1000% Team Issa! Despite her lack of communication and expression of her frustration to Lawrence in the beginning of the series, she will forever have my heart! Issa was carrying Lawrence - and their entire relationship - on her back. She did not express the disconnect she began to feel in their relationship. Is this just in her cheating on Lawrence? No. Especially since she planned her and Daniel's reunion. A pattern I noticed with Issa's character was ambiguity. She was unsure what she wanted in many aspects of her life notably; career wise and romantic and platonic relationships. This would be Issa's red flag. This caused her to make a rash and emotion driven decision that came back to bite. Issa's green flag is that she is ambitious and an enterprising person. I admire her character. She took a risk by starting her non-profit and it was successful! She is not afraid to put herself out there and (usually) does not accept defeat. By the end of the series, Issa matured. She began to find her place in her career, and she knew what she wanted in both her friendships and romantic relationships. What I would like to see Issa do differently though is CHOOSE NATHAN INSTEAD OF LAWRENCE! I enjoyed Nathan and Issa together. However, I do believe his personal mental health issues were too much for Issa to bear. For example, when Issa told Nathan she loved him and he neverrrr said it back. He was overwhelmed while she was just looking for security and confirmation in their relationship. Which, I understand. Now that I think about it, their love story was almost perfect in my eyes. They were spontaneous, passionate, and lively. Had it not been for him ghosting her, I feel they could have worked out! Furthermore, why would she choose to play stepmother? I digress because her and Lawrence did have a compelling history.

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Molly Carter portrayed by Yvonne Orji

Obviously since I am team Issa, I have copious grievances with Molly's character. So, I am just going to keep it real. That is all I can do. At the start of the series Molly was mostly stagnant, expressive, and guileful. Her dating life was stagnant, but she was expressive and knew what she wanted in a relationship. If I could only remember one thing about Molly's character it would be how she wanted, no NEEDED, a man! We were reminded of that every season. Even when she had a man, he was never enough for her. Her constant instinct to dislike something about the men she dated was one of her biggest downfalls. Unfortunately, this carried over to her friendships, primarily with Issa. I would consider her nitpicking as her red flag. She turned on Issa many times for no reason. Let us look at when Issa was throwing her block party. Molly did not want to connect her with her boyfriend (at the time) Andrew since he was in the music industry. To this day, I have no clue why she did not want to help her with something so minuscule to help put Issa's non-profit, B.L.O.C.C., on the map. Please, do not say boundaries. However, if my friend and I can have a physical altercation and bounce back from that, that is my girl for life! It just makes sense to me. As if we are siblings at that point. Siblings fuss and fight and still make up at the end of the day. Anyhow, Molly's green flags are she knew what she wanted, did not take no for an answer, and stood up for herself. Towards the end of the series, I noticed Molly became more complacent and not so stubborn. Even though she was opposed to it - and fell off it for a while - therapy helped her! Molly got her "happy ending" even if it was with a random character who was just introduced in the fourth season good for her! One thing I would like to see Molly do differently would be enjoy the present and not worry about the future. Good things come when you are least expecting it. Also, I would like to see her treat Andrew and Jared better. Andrew was my favorite boyfriend of hers and her longest relationship on the show. Despite her knowing her end game was to marry a black man, I felt they could have worked a little bit longer. I also enjoyed her with Jared. He was so simple and a change of pace from her typical dating options. Side note: that short haircut at the end of the series was NOT eating.

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Kelli Prenny portrayed by Natasha Rothwell

I think we can all agree Kelli was surely the designated funny friend. In the beginning of the show, I noticed that Kelli did have a joke for every situation. This showed her lighthearted attitude and how unserious her character was. Even though we were not shown much of it, Kelli was serious about her career. A green flag I noticed in this character was her carefree personality, but she also possessed the ability to get real when needed. After the college reunion, I feel as if Kelli began to struggle with her inner self and realized she wanted more from life. Hence the announcement of her engagement and pregnancy. Not forgetting her progression in her career with her joining Molly's firm. I surely enjoyed Kelli more in the later seasons and I wish her character were delved into more instead of sudden changes, but I do understand the circumstances. Kelli's milestone announcements really spoke to her character growth. (I am simply happy she left Daniel Kaluuya alone.) I would have liked for the show to build out on her character more.

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Lawrence Walker portrayed by Jay Ellis

Lawrence. Lawrence. Lawrence. *smh* This character was not my favorite, but he was not ALL bad. Lawrence was stagnant with both his career and relationship. After college, most people do end up in a season of just being. He was not working a job but was working towards his dream business. From a relationship standpoint, he was creating a disconnect between him and Issa. She was the breadwinner. While he was inactive and sluggish when it came to providing for the house and their relationship. He was neglectful of his relationship with Issa, and while he reassured her at times, it was not enough. A red flag I saw in Lawrence was his stubbornness. While he was focusing on creating his app he could have BEEN working in tech. Instead of living on unemployment for years. This is also attributed to a green flag I noticed, he stayed true to his career plan and saw it through. After his breakup with Issa, Lawrence's behavior was WILD. Lawrence needs to be in a stable relationship, or life is going to happen. Literally. Lawrence grew more mature honestly, he was forced into maturity through his relationship with Condola. I would like Lawrence to think before he acts and makes decisions. I feel if Lawrence did not want to see anyone else with Issa he should not have broken up with her initially. However, I cannot expect him to not have a reaction to Issa cheating on him. Even though I hate to admit it, Issa and Lawrence are good for each other.

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Nathan Campbell portrayed by Kendrick Sampson

Before I begin, I would like to say Nathan is my baby. That is all. When Nathan's character was introduced, it gave me the spontaneous and chaotic energy I needed. I noticed his character had the tendency to show so much love exactly when Issa needed it. He provided Issa with so much adventure and everything was almost perfect. The only red flag Nathan had was going ghost. Later we learned the reasoning behind why he ghosted Issa which caused another hurdle in their relationship. Nathan learned about his newly discovered mental health issue, mania and figuring out how to navigate life with mania and be in a committed relationship likely would not have worked out. Think about it, not only would Nathan be figuring this out but so would Issa. She would have to be a support system for him, and I do not think she would have been able to handle that pressure. Not to mention he ghosted her after she told him she loved him and that threw the course of their entire relationship off. Nathan's green flag was that he was an adventurous and virtuous character. Nathan supported Issa despite what he did in the past and even tried to make things right with her. Even though Nathan did not get the girl he still did right by her in the end. What I would like to see Nathan do differently is be more open and communicative. He instantly went into an isolation mode after his diagnosis but that did not mean he had to be his only support system.

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Condola Hayes portrayed by Christina Elmore

The character Condola was introduced a little after midway's of the show when Issa was entering her career change journey. I am sure we all enjoyed Condola when she was first introduced. She was helpful, knowledgeable, and a good friend to Issa. When she revealed to Issa, she was dating someone immediately I knew it had to be Lawrence because why are you low-key being secretive with his identity. Which was intended by the show. Condola's red flag was her decision making skills. I understand her being ready to have a baby, but she and Lawrence were not in a relationship. Prime example of life life'ing though! At the end of the show Condola was set on ruining Issa's life. I feel as if Condola knew that Lawrence was going to go back to Issa. The only real growth this character had was becoming a mom and learning how to co parent with Lawrence. If anything, her character became awry. Things I would like Condola to do differently is self-evaluate and include the other characters emotions, opinions, and lives.

Final Thoughts

I find it interesting how it works. I noticed myself relating to the characters and the dilemmas they were experiencing and pausing the show because seeing them come to a solution made me realize I would one day have to do the same. Insecure is an admirable series. In the future I hope to find the prowess to rewatch the show. Considering the place I am in life, I do not see myslef rewatching the show at the moment. I would rather not face my personal plights until I am ready and then show would do force me to face those demons. I do recommend to others who have not seen the show to watch it but be prepared while at the same time asking them a question related to the show to see how they would react and their mindset. I applaud Issa Rae and her mind for accomplishing her idea that is this masterpiece. Like other Insecure lovers I do wish the show was longer to expound on all characters further. All in all, I enjoyed this series. Rating: 9/10

If you or someone you know are suffering from mental issues please visit Mental Health Support Line.

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